I get so irked by junk snail mail that looks official. I know it’s a come on, but I always check, just in case. What if I really am being sued, or I’ve been turned over to a collections agency? I open the envelope, then swear under my breath. They got me again.
I’ve become a little more sophisticated in assessing junk mail. I’ve figured out that no one subpoenas Current Resident. But the panic angel on my shoulder, the one whose favorite words are “what if?”, compels me to check the best hoaxes.
What makes me the maddest is when good organizations stoop to this tactic. I once received a "summons" from the county sheriff. The design of the envelope was so cheesy, I had to peek inside. Turns out it was from a nonprofit group I truly respect. I won’t name names, but let’s just say they are women parents who fight people operating heavy machinery after drinking judgment-impairing beverages. I called the organization and told them they were too good for that. It was an eloquent rant, with many convincing points. Too bad I had to leave it on some staffer’s voicemail.
Shyster lawyers will use any trick in the book to compete for my attention. I hope I stop falling for it one day. But I also hope the good guys will pay attention to their messages so that I may actually send a check right back.
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